An embarrassment of riches

God showered me with gifts last week. I received them with chagrin and delight: I’m more than a little embarrassed to have accepted them from a source I insist on keeping at arm’s length; on the other hand, I enjoy getting presents as much as the next person.

When I first started this column, I asked God for examples of how he is revealing himself to and through the people of this diocese. He responded last week with a trove of stories: On Thursday Bishop Wester celebrated a Mass in honor of his fifth anniversary here in Utah. That same day we taped a video about youth in the diocese. Our guests were Father Gustavo Vidal, pastor of Saint Mary Parish in West Haven, who accompanied some teens from his parish to the youth conference in San Diego last year; Micaela Mannix, president of the Saint John the Baptist Parish youth group; and Shelly Valdez, coordinator of the Blessed Sacrament Parish youth group. On Friday I attended the Educators Day for Utah Catholic Schools.

I could write an entire column on any of these people. We are so blessed to have all of them practicing their ministry in this diocese.

But God was particularly generous at Saturday’s Lenten retreat. More than 200 people attended. I couldn’t begin to tell all their stories: A 76-year-old woman who volunteers to teach third-grade religious education; a man whose best friend was killed during the Vietnam War, an incident that turned the survivor from an infantryman into a medic so he could save lives instead of taking them; a woman suffering from terminal lung cancer who nonetheless was willing to share her prayer that she see Jesus in everyone she meets.

As if that weren’t enough, one person at the retreat complimented the changes I’ve instituted to the paper and another expressed her appreciation for this column because she, too, sometimes doubts her faith.

But most affirming of all was the retreat master’s presentation.

Dominican Father Ray John Marek said he also relates to the Apostle Thomas, for whom this column is named.

Like Thomas and me, Fr. Marek would have doubted the other apostles’ story that a resurrected Jesus appeared to them in the locked room. However, Fr. Marek’s disbelief would have arisen from the fact that "nothing had changed for them," he said. "If you have seen the Lord, if you know the power of that deep love in your life, you come to realize that no locked door, no fear, no tomb of whatever description can keep you bound, can keep you shut off, can keep you shut up, can keep you out of sight. Nothing can do that if you really know the presence of the risen Lord."

Of course, the apostles were changed by Jesus, as the remainder of their lives proved. What affect he will have on me is yet to be determined. I’m still trying to unlock my door.

So the day was filled with stories to write about and positive reinforcement of me as editor, not to mention spiritual renewal.

After all of that, I still got home in time to go for a long, solitary walk on the Jordan River Parkway. The sun warmed my skin, redwing blackbirds trilled in the reeds and a pair of American kestrels hovered while I pondered God’s mysterious ways.

I feel blessed. Despite my rejection of him, God has offered me grace. I am grateful to accept it even though I don’t deserve it.

Today, at least, I am willing to proclaim without doubt that he is Lord.