Four-year LEM program 'a worthwhile struggle'

Friday, Jul. 18, 2014

SALT LAKE CITY — For the past four years, Bob Van Parys has been on what he describes as a roller coaster ride, developing his faith as one of the 22 people to be certified through the Catholic Diocese of Salt Lake City’s English-speaking Lay Ecclesial Ministry formation program. 

Another 63 people completed the program in Spanish. Both groups studied Scripture, spiritual development, prayer and human formation. The program is designed to develop lay ministers to serve various roles in the local Church; certified LEMs now in the diocese are hospital chaplains and directors of religious education, among other ministries.

While Van Parys enjoyed much of the program, “as we went through the courses there were ones that really challenged me,” he said.

In particular, he struggled with the courses on Catholic social teaching, because he is very conservative and he felt many of the social justice applications are more liberal, he said. He doesn’t argue with the Church doctrine on the issues, but “how that doctrine is being accomplished once it hits the street is where I have a problem,” he said. “It was hard for me to take the political aspect out of it and just talk theology, because when you move it into the application of it then there are problems that arise for me.”

During this time, he became very discouraged, he said, and despite encouragement from his wife to continue, he at one point sent an email to the program’s director announcing that he was quitting.

“I didn’t sleep well that night because someone was talking to me and he was saying, ‘You made a bad mistake,’” Van Parys said; that “someone” was the Holy Spirit. “I think he’s been there quite a few times for me.”

The morning after sending the email, he sent another saying he would continue the program.

He also wrestled with the time commitment; he would spend up to six hours a day studying.

“Some of the information can’t be read just once,” he said. “You had to study and study and study.”

Nevertheless, he enjoyed many parts of the program, especially their study of the Gospel of John. He also appreciated the opportunity to give presentations to the Utah Knights of Columbus councils on how to build a prayer life and on the Holy Spirit, which he did to fulfill the requirement for a practical project in the last year of the LEM program.

Van Parys has “a big desire to share what he has learned,” said Susan Northway, the diocesan director of religious education who oversaw the LEM program. She believes he will contribute greatly as an LEM, particularly with his ability to urge other men to develop their spirituality.

Van Parys was raised a Catholic in Gurnee, Ill., attending Catholic schools through college, which he left after three years, enlisting in the United States Air Force when his draft number came up. 

During his military career, he received an undergraduate degree through the University of Maryland and a master’s degree in public administration from Troy State University. He requested and received an officer’s commission, and retired after 20 years. 

Meanwhile, his first wife died and he remarried. In 2005, the couple decided to move from California to Utah; his second duty station had been Hill Air Force Base in Ogden and her brother was living in Elk Ridge, about 60  miles southeast of Salt Lake City. The Van Parys’ found a house in the same town, and began attending San Andres Parish. He became a lector, an extraordinary minister of the Holy Communion, and joined the parish’s Knights of Columbus council, currently serving as the Deputy Grand Knight. 

“It’s kind of a military-type bonding that I’ve been used to for 20 years,” he explained. “It’s also the reason I became a volunteer fireman [for the Elk Ridge fire department], because that bond is there. We’re a band of brothers who put out fires.”

The Knights gave him “a big boost to my faith,” he said; he particularly enjoys the charitable aspect of the fraternal organization. “When we do the Coats for Kids, and you see these children coming through and get a brand-new winter coat and the smiles that are on their face, it makes it all worthwhile,” he said.

Despite his parish involvement, he felt something was missing. 

“In the back of my mind I always knew there was no other true faith than the Catholic faith, that we always had something special, but that was as far as it had gone,” said Van Parys, who has been a regular churchgoer throughout his life. “I had allowed the education that I had received way back when to evaporate, but the substance was still there.”

Deciding “it was time for me to start getting re-educated,” he applied for the LEM program. 

Van Parys has learned a lot about the faith in the past four years, said his wife, also a cradle Catholic.  

“I like sitting and talking with him after some of the sessions that he’s had and absorbing the knowledge,” Doretta Van Parys said, adding that she hopes her husband will teach another Bible study, as he had done previously at San Andres Parish. “He has so much knowledge, and you can feel and see his energy. He has so much to share, and it’s interesting.” 

Van Parys has not chosen what ministry he will undertake once he is certified as an LEM on Aug. 9, although he is organizing a parish retreat at the request of his pastor. He does, however, hope to teach, and plans to continue to study. 

“We have a very special gift and that gift has to be given to other people,” he said.