One Step Forward

Friday, Jan. 22, 2016

Living a faith-filled life isn’t as easy as it may seem, but over the past year, as the result of more effort than I like to admit, I think I’m finally heading in the right direction.

Case in point is last Thursday. (And what is it about Thursdays recently? Two weeks ago the day was such a struggle that I could barely hold my head up until God revealed himself through a friend’s gift, and now this past week in which he showed his grace again. If he wasn’t all-knowing, I’d remind him that there are six other days of the week when I could use his help just as much. But I digress.)

What happened this most recent Thursday was I woke up planning to have cereal for breakfast, only to find, when I opened the fridge, that the milk had spoiled. I couldn’t make toast because there was no butter or peanut butter; I’d used them all up while making cookies a few nights before. Ditto the eggs.

So there I was, stuck without breakfast. The worst part about it was that I’d already done the week’s grocery shopping, but the decision to bake had been spur of the moment, and in doing so I didn’t worry about using up all of what remained of the butter, peanut butter and eggs, because as I’ve already said, I planned to have cereal for breakfast, except I neglected to check the milk’s expiration date. 

Me without breakfast isn’t a pretty thing to encounter, so saying words I would never admit to, I got myself into the car and headed to the grocery store. I hadn’t even made it two blocks before God tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to consider my blessings. I didn’t have to ask him what he meant. I already knew: Because I have a decent job, I had money in my wallet to buy food; I didn’t have to beg, borrow or steal to obtain nutritious items for my table. 

Not only that, but I am fortunate enough to be within a ten-minute drive of at least three grocery stores, unlike many people even right here in Utah, who live in what is termed a food desert, meaning they have to travel long distances to obtain what for me is easily accessible.

Thinking about all of this, I also realized that I’m privileged to live in a country where food is plentiful: There was no doubt in my mind that when I got there the store shelves would be well-stocked with everything I wanted and needed.

So even before I arrived at the store I said a prayer of thanksgiving to God for reminding me of my many blessings, including his grace, without which I would have gone through the day grumbling instead of grateful.

I’m not proud of the fact that I had to get through the complaining to arrive at the appreciation. I would like to reach the point where God doesn’t have to reveal the obvious to me, but for right now the fact that I eventually do feel grateful is a vast improvement over the days when I never progressed past the protesting. That was before I invited God into my life, and since then I am awestruck every time he chooses to allow me to see that, no matter how I feel at any particular moment, he is in fact always walking with me. These graced whispered moments lead me deeper into his mystery and give me hope that one day he will find me worthy to be forever in his presence.