Seeking the face of God

Friday, Dec. 19, 2014

What is the face of God?

This became more than a rhetorical question for me when I decided to take Bishop Wester’s suggestion, which he made in his article last week, to spend time this Advent gazing in prayer on the face of Christ.

My first thought was to pray before a crucifix. Before I got myself into a church, though, I decided that contemplating the Christ child in these weeks before Christmas might be more appropriate than pondering Christ crucified. 

The idea may have sprung from the reproductions of three Marian icons that are sitting on my desk. They were part of an Advent retreat I attended a couple of weeks ago, and they’re in plain sight because I haven’t taken time to do anything with them yet.

All three icons show Mary with her young child. I took a break from work and gazed at first the one, then the other, and went on to the third. I tried to be open to what Christ might be trying to tell me, but my recurring thought was that if it weren’t for the halo around his head, I could be looking at any boy. In fact, Mary is the dominant figure in all three icons. 

This seemed a very impious thought, but I couldn’t get it out of my head, and the more I thought about it, I realized that in every nativity I have ever seen, the Holy Infant is dominated by other figures: his parents, the magi, angels. Even the ox, ass and sheep are bigger than he. The sole sign of his divinity, if it’s depicted at all, is a halo. Only because I know the story do I know that the child in the manger was heralded by the prophets and would grow to be a great teacher who promised the kingdom, the power and the glory of heaven. 

However, looking on the face of the son of Mary in the icons, all I saw was plump cheeks and unwrinkled skin, nothing that set him apart from any other baby.

Not gaining any sort of illumination from my contemplation of the Christ child, I shifted my gaze to the crucifix. With the crown of thorns and inscription above his head, no one could mistake this man for anyone other than Christ the King, but again there is no sign of God in this tortured man who was hung on a cross to die. According to the Gospel of John, the last words of this crucified man were, “It is finished.”   

I waited for some holy thoughts to come into my head, but none occurred. I heard a voice, but it was someone passing by, not God. I looked again, but still saw nothing except a plastic statue. 

Feeling like a failure, I started to leave. Then the Eternal Flame flickered beyond the cross, and that candle was my reminder of the eternal love that has no face that we can see.  The promise that the Holy Infant brought into this world, the promise that seemed to die with Christ on the cross – that promise was brought to fulfillment by Christ resurrected, whose love and presence is eternal. 

What the face of God looks like I don’t know, but I do know that he is love. He revealed this love by coming as a helpless child, he proved this love by his death on the cross, and he assures us of this love with his promise of the Second Coming. This is love that we celebrate at Christmas. This is the joy of the world. This is the face of God.