Should I Plan My Own Funeral?

Friday, Mar. 16, 2018

Perhaps the most difficult human experience we ever face is the loss of a loved one through the reality of death. We accept its inevitability, but assume it will always be far in the future. It makes sense to make both well-informed and clearly outlined plans regarding your funeral. It is also important to make sure that your plans are easily available to your family and parish at the time of your death. 

 It is also very common that family members planning our funerals may no longer be practicing their faith or may not be active in the Church. There could even be some animosity that exists between survivors and also toward the Church. These are all important reasons to have clear instructions available and ready.

Your parish and its staff are your best resource. They will provide you with possible Scripture readings and a selection of hymns. Your pastor can also assist you with clear information regarding choices related to cremation, a wake or rosary service, burial, vaults and other important decisions. Parishioners have arranged an appointment with me for these discussions. The process is an easy one and can result in strong feelings of confidence and relief once the plans have been made final.

As you attend funerals or wake services and you are impressed with a particular song, prayer or reading, make of note of it and include it in your own plans. It would also make sense that spouses would share in this planning and preparation.

It can also be valuable to choose a mortuary and share your wishes with them. Some mortuaries are much more familiar and competent in regard to the rituals and traditions of the Roman Catholic faith. Your pastors may make recommendations that can assist you. Mortuaries and cemeteries also have plans that can accommodate pre-payment for all of their services. Even casket and headstone choices can be made and paid for.

Many also choose a charity, parish or school to receive donations or gifts at the time of your death in place of the tradition of sending flowers. Friends and family find this a very meaningful way to remember those who have died. It is also a very generous act of charity on behalf of the deceased. Including this information in your obituary is important and should be part of your planning.  

Leaving an outline or list of important dates of events in your life is also important. Having that information in one place is another important part of your plans. There is certainly nothing wrong in writing your own obituary. 

Your pastors can assist in the many possibilities for planned giving through estates, gifts of stocks, single gifts, wills and endowments.  The Catholic Foundation of Utah, 801-456-9306, can also offer valuable assistance. Each parish has an endowment in the Catholic Foundation. Gifts add to the principal and provide yearly support that goes directly to the parish. Each school, diocesan office or special ministry also has an endowment. Larger gifts can carry the family name or the donors.

You are reminded that Mount Calvary Cemetery, 801-355-2476, in Salt Lake City is owned and operated by the Diocese of Salt Lake City. Mass is celebrated at the altar in the center of the cemetery each Memorial Day and All Souls Day.

Making arrangements for the celebration of your funeral Mass and other related events is a very good thing to do. It is easy to do and well worth the time it will take. I suggest you do it soon. It is a thoughtful gift to your family that will be fully appreciated at the time of your death.