Taking KAIROS – God's time

JDCHS

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Retreat participants gather in the chapel. Courtesy photo/JDCHS

SALT LAKE CITY — You tell yourself you won’t cry. The case of tissues piled among a billion snacks unloaded from the bus implies otherwise. Kairos Retreat leaders know the hunger for solace, kinship and God is as great as the insatiable belly of a teenager. They plan for it, create a sacred space for it, and at the end of four days, celebrate it.

You breathe deeply the sage-infused air of Long Canyon Ranch, take in the cliffs where native peoples once dwelled, and listen for the sound of smiling. Yes, you can hear it from 50 nomads thrilled to be off the eardrum-shattering, five-hour bus ride. The winds shift to waft you with the charred smell of tonight’s menu, and the senses are already heightened to Richter-scale level, when the throng is hushed to pray for God’s blessing on all who are breaking bread together. Student and faculty leaders tick off the ground rules and assign small groups. You are squirrelly with anticipation, and told to pack away digital devices, assured you will not miss them, for this is Kairos – "God’s Time."

Kairos is a retreat designed to walk attendees through a process of discovering self, one’s importance in humanity, and the loving kindness of God. It is not Bible camp. Those who seek to find a deeper relationship with Him are already steeped in years of theological teachings. They are students, faculty and staff of Juan Diego Catholic High School – a cornucopia of young and seasoned, Catholic and non-Catholic, of means or not, and a rich pallet of color. They were not randomly selected but perhaps divinely guided to apply for Kairos – a unique experience that sets Catholic schools apart from others.

Sated from a meal prepared by three generations of the ranch’s proprietors, the groups are swiftly herded into quiet destinations on the vast homestead. Ice-breakers led by student leaders who have attended Kairos before quickly elicit narratives of friendships and family relationships. Before long, the group transforms from an itchy assemblage of strangers to a swimming hug chanting the Serenity Prayer. All are then disbursed; greeting colleagues as they climb ochre rock slab steps to reach the chapel snuggled among the junipers.

The vibration of laughter rattles the walls, and smiling faces are speckled with colors beamed from a triptych of stained glass behind the rock altar. You are awed by this most holy place and the swirling silence of souls that envelope the congregation. The music emanating from iPods is of recent generations, lyrics that resonate with your own experience. The lector’s parables are deeply personal, and retold to lead the listener toward an understanding of how they found God in the mundane, tragic or joyous events of life. You are overwhelmed with gratitude for the journeyman’s tale because it opens up the possibility for you to reveal your own. Returning to the safe haven of your group, you each willingly unfold the heavy, burden-soaked cloaks that weigh down your ability to soar with the spirit of God.

After three intense days cycling through a series of chapel talks, personal and group reflections, explorations in the wilderness, banquets fit for kings, and cherished surprises, the hike up to chapel for Mass is surprisingly lighter. Gospel readings are perceived with new insight, and God’s presence is a bonfire that glows on the faces of all in His house.

Boarding the bus and loaded cars, you feel like Easter after a long Lent. The hours back to Salt Lake conjure conversations you will attempt with others upon your return. You won’t reveal the privately recounted stories that changed all who heard them because they are sacred gifts from God’s children. The Kairos retreat has resulted in a surreal resurrection in you, but it will be as difficult to describe as heaven. The only word that will come is "Go."

Molly Dumas is the director of institutional advancement at Juan Diego Catholic High School.