True love looks beyond appearances, grows through struggles

photo courtesy of Eloy and Vera Martinez

+ Enlarge

Eloy and Vera Martinez exchanged vows on July 10, 1959 at Our Lady of Guadalupe Parish in Salt Lake City. Vera did not like Eloy at first, but ?I gradually fell in love with him,? she said.

SALT LAKE CITY — It was the late 1950s and Vera was out to lunch with her friends at a restaurant across from West High School, where she was studying. There, she met some guys from Tooele who were hanging out, taking a break from a tedious day at school. One of them started talking to her, but she did not like what she saw.

"He was a young punk, wearing his pants low and his hair greased down. He smoked cigarettes and wore his sleeves rolled up. He was a greaser," said Vera about her first impression of Eloy Martinez.

After lunch, the girls went back to school. The day went on normally, but to Vera’s not-so-pleasant surprise, Eloy was outside waiting, and offered her a ride.

"I really didn’t like him," she said. Vera rejected Eloy. She was studying hard to graduate from high school, was dating someone else, and was not very fond of Eloy’s tattoos. She knew he was also dating someone else, and that he would not date anyone for too long. Eloy knew he was not Vera’s cup of tea but was not about to give up.

"She was different from most girls. Girls around my age didn’t go to school, they sluffed. I was very impressed by her," he said.

Eloy knew he wanted to get serious with Vera since the first time he saw her.

"He kept coming down and calling me," she said.

About his persistence, Eloy said, "if you are determined, you are bound to be successful."

His determination finally paid off when they reunited at a party; neither had a relationship.

Eloy kept insisting and Vera let him insist.

"I gradually fell in love with him and started looking beyond appearances. You have to go with what’s in your heart and not with what people look like," said Vera.

She didn’t think their relationship would last long, especially because of Eloy’s romantic history, but time went by and their love grew.

"One day we were just sitting, doing nothing. And all of a sudden and nonchalantly, a few days before the Christmas of 1958, Eloy asked me, ‘Do you want to get married?’ I said ‘No.’ I didn’t really want to get married. I wanted to graduate and then work," said Vera.

Eloy said his heart was not broken. "I just thought I’d keep trying. I figured she would marry me even though she said no."

Vera later made a realization.

"I said no, but in my heart I said yes."

"I knew that," said Eloy. "Deep down I did."

Days later, it was Vera who touched the subject again. "I thought, ‘We already see each other every day.’ So I asked him, ‘Remember what we were talking about the other day?’"

But Vera’s father would not allow her to get married unless she graduated first. So, Eloy and Vera decided to wait, and set the date to get married for July 10, 1959.

That day arrived, and Vera remembers getting out of her father’s car in front of Our Lady of Guadalupe Parish in Salt Lake City and seeing Eloy dressed in white from across the street.

"And I started crying! I had never seen him dressed up like that," she said.

"She probably thought, ‘he cleans up kind of nice,’" said Eloy.

Other people also changed the way they looked at Eloy that day.

"My uncle, my dad’s brother would say, ‘He’s just going to get her pregnant and leave.’ Then he said, ‘I was wrong about him. He really turned out to be a great guy,’" said Vera.

Every marriage has its highs and lows. The Martinez marriage started with a financial low.

"We paid $65 a month in rent and we still struggled to pay," said Eloy.

The situation worsened when Eloy was laid off and they had to move in with Vera’s parents until they could get up on their feet.

But the biggest scare the couple has faced came three years ago when they were camping with some family members.

"My daughter and I came home earlier because I had a doctor’s appointment. Eloy was home when I came back from the doctor. My son-in-law brought him because Eloy was acting odd," said Vera.

She forced Eloy to visit the doctor, who said Eloy had an aneurism, an abnormal blood-filled bulge of a blood vessel, and especially an artery, in the brain. If he would have done anything else but go to the doctor, he might not be alive today. Luckily, he only lost some of his memory. Sometimes he forgets who his grandchildren are and cannot drive.

"But I thank God Eloy is here whether he has memory or not," said Vera, who since that incident started to think about how much longer they have together. So, now they just concentrate on the good times.

They both said the happiest they have been was at the birth of each of their four children: Bill, Jeff, Phillip, and Cindy.

Eloy and Vera enjoy camping (up to six times a year) and road trips. They look forward to celebrating their 50th anniversary and renewing their vows in July.

"They were 50 fast years," said Eloy. "They were a lot of work; there were a lot of decisions to make; and there was a lot of love to hold it together," said Vera.

Eloy jokingly said his secret to a long marriage is to "always go her way," while Vera said the secret is communication.

"We will sit down and then I’ll have him tell me how he feels about the situation. We solve it together," she said.

For now they have resolved to travel to Colorado, where Eloy’s family is from, to celebrate their anniversary and his aunt’s 100th birthday. With family members living for a century, Eloy thinks about spending many more days on this earth; but not without Vera, the love of his life.

"If she were gone before me, I don’t think I would last very long after."