God, I Missed You

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Dear God,

Thank you for the wonderful vacation. It was a great time: a nice visit with family, four days in a cabin by a lake where I heard a loon calling for the first time in my life, then another week of just hanging out. I also managed to get in quite a bit of birdwatching, including one morning with my brother-in-law, who seemed to enjoy it as much as I did.

I haven’t had 10 straight days of vacation since before the pandemic. I was fortunate, though it didn’t seem so at the time, that we were able to continue producing the newspaper throughout that time when many aspects of normal life were put on hold. Seeing some of my friends staying home for weeks at a time while I came into the office every day seemed unfair, though I was grateful even then that I had a job. It was odd not to attend the usual church festivities, which were canceled because of Covid, but other than that work was pretty much the same as it had been. My social life declined, as it seems did everyone else’s during that time, but I thought I handled it pretty well.

Then, a couple of months ago, I realized that I was getting angry over the slightest thing, so the vacation was a welcome break. The reporters here covered all the work that needed to be done, which meant that I didn’t have anything to do except relax. I was able to sleep in an extra hour, go for long walks, catch up on my magazines, read a book, work on my stitching project. And, as already mentioned, go birdwatching.

It’s fall migration season, and the Midwest gets a number of different bird species coming through than does Utah. Over the course of the week I got photos of nine new species, and possibly a tenth, but because the photo doesn’t clearly show the field markings that differentiate that bird from a species that looks very similar, I’m not counting it.     

I’m back at work now, much less stressed than I was before I left on vacation, and I thank you again for the wonderful time. Everything went  smoothly, even the travel.

Amid all these thanks, though, I have one small grievance: I had no God moment. Usually when I’m out in nature for an extended time you reveal yourself in a special way. Yes, I was able to watch a loon on a lake at sunrise, and marvel at a spiderweb laden with dew, and see a garter snake that’s on the threatened list of species, but even though I know all of that was your creation, with none of it did I sense your presence. I took some spiritual reading with me, but only one passage resonated with me, and that was because of the struggles overcome by the monk in the story, not because I heard you speaking to me. I also was able, I think, to help resolve a misunderstanding between family members, for which I am thankful, but I didn’t see you at work there, either.

Most of all, though, is that for the past week I’ve been asking you to give me a topic of this column, and you didn’t reply as you usually do, so this prayer to you is the best I could come up with.

I thank you, Lord, most sincerely for the gift of these last 10 days. I had a wonderful time, but I missed you, and I just wanted to let you know.

Amen.

Marie Mischel is editor of the Intermountain Catholic. Reach her at marie@icatholic.org.