It is only in real life that we meet God, sister says

Intermountain Catholic

+ Enlarge

Dr. Eloise Skelton (left), Mary Teasdale, Sr. Melannie Svoboda, and Nanette Marlow sing beautifully and unrehearsed, ?Til There was You.? Sr. Melannie said love and faith change our perception of the world around us. IC photo by Christine Young

DRAPER — "People say my talks and my books are rooted in real life," said Notre Dame Sister Melannie Svoboda. "So to that I would say it is only in real life that we meet God. Somebody once said, reality is God’s home address."

Sr. Melannie presented the retreat on her latest book, "Traits of a Healthy Spirituality," at St. John the Baptist Parish June 9. She explored the traits of a healthy spirituality using scriptures, music, stories, and humor that was both practical and inspirational.

Sr. Melannie lives in Chardon, Ohio. She has a Master’s Degree in English and in spirituality. She has been a free-lance writer for more than 30 years, and is the author of seven books. She continues to write, and gives talks, parish missions, and retreats nationally.

Sr. Melannie said, "Each of is called to be Jesus for others, and we are to find Jesus in others, and in the circumstances of life."

Sr. Melannie began the retreat by giving away door prizes. She does so because she said we are swimming in symbols and door prizes are freely given. There was no money involved, no one had to answer a question, sing a song, or do a dance.

"Door prizes are symbols of the way God loves us," she said. "God gives us his gratuitous love freely and unconditionally. We all won the door prize of the gift of life."

Sr. Melannie said we used to equate spirituality with the religious aspect of our lives. We used to say our spirituality was our prayer, alms giving, fasting, going to Mass, or reading scriptures. Our spirituality encompasses our entire life. It is the way we look at everything – all of God’s creations. Spirituality is our basic perception of reality and the way we live based on that perception taking on the mind and heart of Jesus.

"St. Paul tells us to take on the mind and the attitude of Christ in what we see," said Sr. Melannie. "How we see determines the path we live. Jesus was the teacher of wisdom and the way of transformation, or seeing the world in a new way.

Sr. Melannie demonstrated with the song "Til There was You," from "The Music Man." The song means the person did not hear the bells on the hill ringing, see the birds winging, smell the roses or hear the music until he fell in love. This person’s falling in love rapidly changed the perception of his entire universe.

"That is what faith does to us, it changes our perception of God and of the world, and we see things for the first time," said Sr. Melannie. "There is no identical spirituality. We share prayer, but the way we pray is different. We all view life differently, and our spirituality is always growing. Our concept of God changes as we grow older based on our life circumstances. The paradigm of all spirituality is the paschal mystery – death and rising over and over again.

Sr. Melannie said one of the best signs of a good spirituality is a good sense of humor. It allows us to see the bigger picture and laugh at ourselves. In faith we also see the bigger picture.

"When we die, the first thing we will do is burst into laughter when we see how seriously we took life," said Sr. Melannie.

Sr. Melannie said there are five characteristics of a healthy spirituality. The first is a good friend who encourages us to be good and allows us to give and receive love concretely. A good friend encourages and challenges us and often comes into our lives at difficult times. There is something of a gift in all friendships.

The second trait is generating life, or generativity, which is when we have concern for the next generation and gratitude for those generations that have gone before us.

"Having a child, planting a tree, and writing a book are all investments of ourselves outside ourselves. We should pay back the blessings we receive by giving to others. Life is about giving, not receiving. Our culture tells us happiness comes from making more money, getting more things, marrying the perfect person, and having perfect children. When we achieve those things we find out that is not what happiness is about.

The third trait is living graciously with adversity and ambiguity in our lives. An example of this is when we are busy and involved with our lives and our careers and a parent dies or a child becomes ill. It is a time when we are feeling pain and suffering. Yet through our pain and tears we still believe God is good and loving. Our best prayers come through our tears.

The fourth trait is balancing work and leisure. We have to look at the pace of our lives and at how overcommitted we are, and slow down. The way we serve is just as important as how we serve. We multi-task and do not give enough time to love and leisure. We must be able to let go and be still.

The fifth trait is prayer. Sr. Melannie said we pray to put ourselves in the presence of God who is absolutely favorably disposed toward us. We align our perception with God’s perception. We all struggle with prayer because we are often distracted. But sometimes the distraction is what we should be praying about, or for the person who comes to mind. There is no right or wrong way to pray. The wish to pray is prayer itself.