James and Carolyn Wold: 'Communication is everything'

Intermountain Catholic

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James and Carolyn Wold are married Nov. 6, 1954, in St. Joseph Church, Ogden. Their lives would be ones of service.

OGDEN — "When Jim came back from Korea, I was engaged to one of his friends, George," Carolyn Wold said. "Another friend introduced us, and it just seemed right."

The Wolds were married at St. Joseph Catholic Church in Ogden, Nov. 6, 1954 by Msgr. Patrick Kennedy.

In the 1950s, it was not customary for a marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic to take place in the church's sanctuary, so Carolyn and Jim were prepared to be married somewhere else in the church.

"But Msgr. Kennedy looked at me and said, ?Who's the boss here?' So we were married in the sanctuary, and it was beautiful," said Carolyn.

They renewed their wedding vows on their 50th anniversary in 2004.

The Wold's mixed marriage was well accepted by everyone who knew the couple. Carolyn's father had not been a Catholic, "but we always had priests at our dinner table," she said.

Carolyn entered St. Benedict's School of Nursing right out of high school, and Jim would go into police work, eventually becoming South Ogden's chief of police, serving for 30 years. Today he is recovering from total hip replacement surgery.

"We waited to get married until I got out of school because in those days, women who were married were not allowed to study nursing," Carolyn said. "The training was very strict. It was at a time when the student nurses did all the hard work, but the school turned out great nurses."

Carolyn went on to work in the orthopedic and polio departments of St. Benedict's Hospital and would become the first head of a nursing department who was not a sister.

While Jim took further police training, Carolyn worked in the operating room for a year, then moved to the Ogden Clinic for five years.

Carolyn spent 30 years in nursing at McKay-Dee Hospital, having earned her Master's Degree in nursing administration in 1983. She retired from nursing in 1994, but spent two semesters as an adjunct professor of nursing at Weber State College (now Weber State University).

Service to others has been a hallmark of the Wold marriage. Their union has also had its particular trials. Their oldest child, their daughter Carolyn "Skeeter" suffers from multiple sclerosis, and Jim and Carolyn are responsible for much of her care.

"Jim has always been very wise," Carolyn said in an interview with the Intermountain Catholic. "We've always tried to be there for our children when they needed advice, but they have not always been open to advice."

Carolyn said their daughter once complained she would be the last virgin left in town if she kept listening to her parents. "And I said, ?Then that's the way it's going to be.'"

A devout Catholic, Carolyn said it has been hard to watch their children choose civil marriages over church marriages, but one son and daughter-in-law have chosen to be married in the church. "And I said, ?Thank you, God,'" said Carolyn.

"Every marriage has heartbreaking times," she said. "It's important when those times come, you don't waste time blaming each other. When we realized we hadn't done enough talking with Jim Jr., about issues like sex and money, we made sure we talked more with Paul.

"If I could say anything to couples planning to get married it would be ?keep talking to each other and to your children,'" she said.

Carolyn said the 1960s were not kind years for the institution of marriage.

"There was all that talk of free love, and a lot of sex without commitment. It seemed like young people were partying all the time."

Today, she said, when she looks at the generations from which their 11 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren come, "there aren't many role models of long, happy marriages."

"We always tried to do a lot with our children," she said. "No matter what was going on in our lives or theirs, we always tried to sit down together for Sunday dinner."

Carolyn describes the double responsibilities of marriage and raising children as "a tricky balance of emotion and reason," which she entrusts to prayer.

"St. Monica and St. Rita and I are good friends," she said, smiling. "You have to have faith, and you can't marry a person thinking you're going to change them. Any time two people from two different environments come together, there are going to be clashes, and by the time children come along, it helps if you've learned to back each other up."

Carolyn said giving children and grandchildren advice is not always the best way to go. "They have to see how you live. Children make decisions for their lives based on what they see you do. So, whatever you're doing, do it well, and teach them to compromise. Teach them, too, to keep loving, no matter what."