Lecture will address Catholic funeral rites

+ Enlarge

HOLLADAY — Information about Catholic burial rituals will be presented May 1 at Saint Vincent de Paul Catholic Church.

“To Ashes You Will Return” by Shayneh Starks will address the rituals, rites and planning for a funeral Mass and Catholic burial.

The presentation is part of the Monsignor Benvegnu Lectures at St. Vincent de Paul Parish. These lectures were originally organized by Monsignor M. Francis Mannion, who was the parish pastor from 2004 to 2012. They are in memory of Monsignor Mark Benvegnu, who was the parish’s pastor from 1962 until his retirement in 1986.  

Starks, a Cathedral of the Madeleine parishioner, frequently attends Mass at St. Vincent’s. She and her husband, Jason, have operated Starks Funeral Parlor in Salt Lake City for 30 years.

The couple came to Utah in 2000; Shayneh Starks managed funeral homes for five years until she and her husband opened their own funeral home. They are the only Catholic funeral home in Utah but they also offer services to people of other Christian faiths. They found that “traditional wakes allowed families to connect with others, share their grief, and begin to heal,” their website says.

Shayneh Starks said that she would like to reach out to the Catholic community through the May 1 presentation because she has noted that families do not necessarily follow Catholic guidelines when their loved one who dies is one of the faithful. Even when all or most members of the family are Catholic, because funeral planning is a rare event, “maybe they are not just familiar with the ritual,” Starks said.

Catholic rituals surrounding death are very specific, “but sometimes people don’t know about all these things, so it is really my job to help people understand what our religion asks of us and how they can prepare for that – not only can they make their decisions based on that, but their kids can also make those decisions based on that,” Starks said. “We need to be able to follow through with our faith until the end.”

Death can be a sensitive subject, but Starks loves to talk to people about it because “there are things that people sometimes don’t know,” such as that the Catholic Church prohibits the scattering of ashes, “or that maybe we should consider taking the casket to church before cremation,” she said.

Presenting these issues through the lecture will help people because “it is easier to think about them now rather than when you are in the midst of the pain” of loss, Starks said.

The topic of Catholic burial rites was chosen for a Benvegnu lecture because “at St. Vincent de Paul Parish we see many families through the Rite of a Catholic Burial,” said Ildiko Szemerey Haycock, the parish office manager. “As we meet with the families, there are so many questions, and the families are lost on how to proceed.”

In addition, because “many parishioners have families who have fallen away [from the faith] and they are looking for help in preparing their future funeral Mass and burial rites, this pre-planning will help them to guide their families in their wishes and take some of the stress off the families when the time comes,” Haycock said.

The lecture will provide information on Catholic rites and rituals surrounding death, the process of planning for a funeral Mass, types of burials and other issues.

“The greatest gift you can give your family is to have things pre-arranged in case of a sudden illness or death,” Starks said. “These are the moments that we appreciate our faith. … Everything kind of leads up to our death, our whole lifetime of our faith is a preparation for our death.”

WHAT: Lecture – “To Ashes You Will Return”

WHEN: Thursday, May 1 at 6 p.m.

WHERE: St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church, 1375 E. Spring Lane, Holladay

Free and open to the public.