'Man and woman were created for one another'

Intermountain Catholic

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Nicole Folsom and Kevin Harley will marry Sept. 16. They realize a Catholic wedding involves more than planning the wedding day. IC photo courtesy of Nicole Folsom

"Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: "It is not good that man should be alone. The woman, flesh of his flesh, his counterpart, his equal, his nearest in all things, is given to him by God as a helpmate; she thus represents God from whom comes our help. Therefore, a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh."

"The Catechism of the Catholic Church," Section 1605

BOUNTIFUL — Nicole Folsom and Kevin Harley are creating their future together as one. They have chosen to be married Sept. 16, at St. Olaf Church in Bountiful.

Nicole is a member of St. Olaf Parish and graduated from St. Olaf School. She is a 2002 graduate of Judge Memorial Catholic High School where she was a cheerleader, a peer minister, and a dancer and choreographer for the annual Spring Dance Concert. Kevin is a 2002 graduate of Olympus High School.

The couple met through a mutual friend and have been dating for more than three years. They became engaged in March 2004. They had planned to get married in June 2005, but circumstances arose which led them to postpone their wedding plans.

Nicole’s mother, Janice, was diagnosed with breast cancer at the time, and the situation became too stressful. Janice is doing well now, and wedding plans are again being made. Nicole said this time planning the wedding has been fun.

Nicole’s father, Paul, said he is proud of Nicole and Kevin. "They have really grown up and become more successful over the past year. They are both hard working adults and are very responsible."

"I am very happy for them," said Janice. "They have really become one this past year and are doing well."

Nicole and Kevin have had an extra year to save money for their wedding, and met with each set of parents to determine a budget. They both come from large families and trying to narrow down the guest list has been a challenge. Nicole said it is hard to know where to draw the line.

Although it was a difficult decision, Nicole decided to have her sister, Lisa, a 2006 graduate of Judge Memorial, be her maid of honor. She said her sister is her friend for life and will always be there for her, whereas friends sometimes drift apart. Nicole chose her friends Adrien Garrett and Amber Johnson to be her bridesmaids. They are both Judge Memorial graduates.

Kevin’s friend Jesse Cornelson will be his best man, and Ben Love and Mike Dorrell will be ushers.

The reception will be held at The Point in the University of Utah Huntsman Cancer Institute," said Nicole. "Once we decided where to have the reception, the rest became easier. The Point will cater the reception and provide the flowers. We want it to be a party and have a disk jockey so we can celebrate with dancing. We are going to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, for five days for our honeymoon."

Marriage is a wonderful step in life and more than planning a wedding. A married couple agrees to give themselves to each other for the rest of their lives. Marriage requires a high degree of discipline as Nicole and Kevin found out when they chose to be married in the Catholic Church.

The couple met three times with Msgr. Rudolph Daz, pastor of St. Olaf Parish, for premarital instruction. They also met with Dan and Margaret Stireman, St. Olaf parishioners who have been involved in premarital counseling for 25 years.

Nicole and Kevin filled out a 120-question premarital (FOCCUS) inventory that is computerized into five categories. The questionnaire revealed areas where Nicole and Kevin agree and disagree. The Stireman’s counseled them on the commitment of marriage and its spiritual components, intimacy, contraception and having children, finances, and most importantly how to communicate effectively. Each issue was discussed in terms of how it relates to the Catholic Church. The Stireman’s shared what has and has not worked for them for more than 25 years, and Nicole and Kevin talked about their family backgrounds.

"I realized there is no right or wrong answer; it is what works best for us," said Nicole. "We became aware of the areas we needed to talk about, and it really made us think about the importance of establishing long-term financial goals instead of living paycheck to paycheck."

Nicole and Kevin have decided to combine their inherited family traditions and come up with traditions of their own.

When they return from their honeymoon, Nicole will get her Bachelor’s Degree in accounting from the University of Phoenix. Kevin will continue in construction and go back to school.