National Vocation Awareness Week: Novice Carmelite nuns reflect on God's love

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Nuns at the Carmel of the Immaculate Heart of Mary in Salt Lake City gather for Mass in this 2016 photo.

(Editor’s Note: In honor of National Vocations Week, the Intermountain Catholic requested that the nuns of the Carmel of the Immaculate Heart of Mary in Salt Lake City submit an article about their call to religious life. Their response follows; at their request, the nuns’ names have been withheld.)

“Here I am, Lord.” So said one of our novices upon entering our cloistered Carmelite monastery for the first time. Kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament, she was overcome by a deep sense of peace. In this way, she discovered her vocation to the religious life.

Any vocation begins with a personal relationship with God. How else can one know that God is calling one, out of so many, for a special mission? God has a plan for every person He created. This plan includes the salvation of that person and many souls connected with that person. As collaborators in that plan, we must cultivate our relationship with God. Two sisters in the novitiate at the Carmel of the Immaculate Heart of Mary share how they have experienced a deeper understanding of God’s love since entering Carmel.

Our first-year novice declares, “Blessed be God in His saints!” Ever since Sister entered the Catholic Church in 2015, she has experienced many blessings, but one of the greatest has been learning about the saints. In Carmel, this blessing has blossomed. Our formation includes lots of reading related to our great Carmelite saints – both biographies as well as the saints’ own words. Sister has relished delving into the saints’ lives, which has transformed her understanding of God’s love.

For example, soon after Sister entered Carmel, she read a biography of St. Therese of Lisieux. Her heart was moved by the author’s description of St. Therese’s battle with tuberculosis. Despite unbearable pain, weakness and a constant struggle to eat or even to breathe, St. Therese remained cheerful and completely focused on God. After finishing this book, Sister read a collection of letters St. Therese wrote during the last few months of her life. Knowing how frail the saint was during this time, Sister was stunned that St. Therese was able to write at all – let alone that she crafted letters of such sensitivity and warmth, letters that truly lead the reader to God. This is just one example. Reading about our Foundress, St. Teresa of Avila, Sister is amazed by St. Teresa’s tireless energy and her genius for organization. Reading St. Teresa’s works, Sister laughs out loud! The saint’s warmth and humor are still as real as if she were sitting with us in our monastery’s parlor. Reading about St. John of the Cross, Sister is touched by the way he poured himself out to guide others on their spiritual journeys. Reading St. John’s works, Sister feels this self-emptying love.

Sister grew up in an Episcopalian family. She recalls that the Episcopal Church teaches about the communion of saints, but the members of her parish didn’t talk about saints very much. They tended to assume that the saints were just ordinary good people like themselves. The saints worked hard, tried to do the right thing, and made it to church most Sundays, right? What more can anyone do?

In Carmel, Sister is gaining a growing awareness that the saints are much more than ordinary churchgoing folk. Of course, going to church and striving to do the right thing is a wonderful place to start. But, with God’s help, the saints went beyond everyday virtue to the heights of what the Church fittingly calls “heroic virtue.” And, as her formation continues, Sister gains a clearer vision of the God who makes extraordinary lives possible. She realizes that God loves us more – He calls us to do and be more – He gives us more help – than any of us could imagine or ask for. This is all because He loves us so much and longs for us to be part of His plan.

Our third-year novice, who made her profession of temporary vows last year, still prays daily to know God as He truly is and to love Him more.

It was God alone who drew Sister to Himself, who brought her to Carmel. God had become her best friend, her “plus-one,” in the few years before she entered Carmel. Most of her friends were getting married and starting their own families. Although she had a full life of her own as an active member of her parish, involved in various ministries, a part of her was asking, “Lord, is this what You want of me?” Little by little, she began to give up what she wanted in order to seek what God wanted, for only then, she felt, could she truly face Him at the end of her life. She knew, though, that He was calling her out of love. That her vocation was a gift of love for her but also for others; she believes she is an instrument in God’s hands for His plan of salvation for souls. This love brought her to Carmel. Of course, she also felt welcomed by the community, and she looked forward to becoming a part of this family in Carmel. But no family is perfect, no community always ideal. Coming to Carmel is not an escape; Sister still faces the same insecurities and struggles with her faults and earthly attachments. It is not always easy for her to see how God is working in her soul or in her life. Sometimes He seems to her mysteriously distant, allowing her to undergo a series of trials, yet these trials are purifying and God gives Sister the grace to endure and profit by them. She has come to realize that His love is so deep that He takes every means to make her a saint and still He knows how much she can handle at a time. Then He comes to her with comfort: a kind word, an unexpected act of charity, thoughtful gifts from the many friends of our community. Thus she knows God is always present.

At the end of the day, Sister looks at the tabernacle where Jesus is present in the Blessed Sacrament and reminds herself that she came here for Him. She came because she wanted to do His will, not her own. Just as He came to earth to do His Father’s will. In that way, Jesus teaches her every day what it really means to love, to respond to love and with love. He is still her one and only. That hasn’t changed so much as it has intensified.