Seminar addresses the sensitive issue of money

Photo courtesy of Dale Powers

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Dale Powers will present ?Marriage and Money: Strange Bedfellows,? Saturday Feb. 13, at Saint Francis Xavier Parish.

SALT LAKE CITY - "Money is a sensitive issue in most marriages and an area where a lot of discussions between couples take place," said Dale Powers, a Dave Ramsey Certified Financial Counselor.

Dale Powers will be the guest speaker at the Marriage Enrichment seminar "Marriage and Money: Strange Bedfellows," sponsored by the Diocesan Family Life Office. The seminar is Saturday Feb. 13, from 1 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. at Saint Francis Xavier Parish, 4501 West 5215 South, Kearns.

"This will be a fun seminar even though money is not always a fun issue for couples to discuss," said Powers. "We will talk about why money is such a sensitive area. Once couples understand why it is a sensitive area, they will learn how to have the necessary discussions."

Powers said depending on what source you use, you will find that 75 to 80 percent of marriages that end in divorce list money as the number one reason. But in reality, money isn't really the issue, it is how the couple communicated about serious issues that eventually led to the divorce. Money is neither good nor bad. Money does not cause couples to divorce, it is the discussions about money that are unresolved that cause couples to split up.

Powers said the seminar will present ways to communicate more effectively and how to structure discussions so they are more successful. For example, money can be a power issue but most of the time there are deeper issues and different attitudes about money that must be resolved. One person may be more carefree and the other more restrictive about how they want to use their money. It is those kinds of issues a couple has to learn to talk about. Sometimes couples are afraid if they discuss such issues they will end up in a major conflict or end up unable to reconcile the differences, so they don't risk the discussion in the first place.

Powers will also discuss "The State of Our Union," which came out of the 1999 Rutgers National Marriage Project by David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, co-authors from Rutgers University. They publish the State of Our Union, which monitors the health of marriage and family life in America, every year about the same time the president of the United States makes his State of the Union Address.

"This year's State of the Union is on marriage and money, and how couples are weathering this great recession," said Powers. "It gives information to help couples become aware of how the greater economy can impact a marriage, such as a job loss, and also some of the benefits of the recession."

Powers will also help couples see how they compare with the 14 components of a healthy financial plan. She said a lot of the couples will have some of the components, or some may not apply. One component is saving for college. If a couple's children are grown, college funding will not be an issue. But there will be 14 areas to look at within their overall financial plan to make sure they are doing what they need to do in order to retire in a secure way.

Powers, a member of Immaculate Conception Parish in Knoxville, Tenn., currently works with couples who are experiencing financial distress.