Seniors are an indispensable resource

"You will honor the person of the aged." Leviticus 19:32

by Susan Cook Northway

I recently read "The Dignity of Older People and Their Mission in the Church and in the World," produced by the Pontifical Council for the Laity. The Council identifies "charisms proper to old age." Confronting cultures that discount the value of elders, our Church teaches that; "Human societies would be better if they learnt to benefit from the charisms of old age." Years ago I worked in a nursing home in Las Vegas, Nevada. With the arrogance of youth, I breezed in with many preconceived notions about the elderly. My experience was a great lesson in humility.

Disinterestedness: The Council links the elderly with altruism; the gift of giving without expectations of future reward. In the nursing home I met Theresa, an elderly woman who personified altruism. A heavy smoker dying of emphysema, Theresa was a native New Yorker with a successful son who rarely visited the facility. Theresa never succumbed to self-pity. She was an enthusiastic foster grandparent to troubled teenage volunteers. She counseled visitors, staff, and other patients. Theresa radiated hope. The last time I saw her, she had just finished a breathing treatment and was lighting up a cigarette. I told her that our family would soon be moving to a cold climate. She quipped;" Honey, pick up a fashionable fur coat before you leave. There are lots of bargains on furs in Vegas! Make sure you stay warm." We both laughed. In retrospect, I marvel at her courage, selflessness, and determination to celebrate life.

Memory: The Council warns that "the younger generations are losing a sense of history and consequently the sense of their own identity." I met another New Yorker, an old vaudeville entertainer named Mr. Abrams. Most days he sat slumped in his wheelchair. He often wore soft restraints and diapers. He could be combative, but the nurses found ways to calm him. Frail Abrams entertained us with brief phrases of tunes belonging to his show biz days. For someone right out of the conservatory, this music history lesson was intriguing to me. Suddenly my mysterious, deceased grandmother came to mind. She had been a piano player on the circuit.

Experience: The Council speaks of older people drawing "attention to the social nature of man and to the need to repair the fabric of interpersonal and social relationships." I met Ted, a double amputee. A gambler all of his life, he systematically severed all family ties. His scornful manner, cynicism, and disdain for others cinched his sad isolation. Ted taught me about loneliness and grief associated with unresolved conflict.

Interdependence: "No man is an island… Older people, in their search for companionship, challenge a society in which the weaker are often abandoned." James lived in the dementia ward, though he was completely lucid. Before a massive stroke, James worked as a hod-carrier. He entered the nursing home for rehabilitation, and worked hard at physical therapy. James lived for discharge day. I discovered that he was obsessed with taking revenge upon an unfaithful wife. As an African-American left without financial or emotional support from his once close extended family and community, James felt angry, abandoned, and worthless.

A more complete vision of life: The nursing home’s favorite, Mary welcomed me to work every morning. She smiled, shuffled forward, and usually grabbed my arm. Mary called me "Mama." Though confused about time and place, Mary kept her faith and her sense of humor. Love poured out of her. She made everyone smile. I remember the day she gave me a crocheted potholder. I had watched her work on it for months. "Older people are an indispensable resource for fostering the harmony of society."

Today new generations of self-absorbed young adults are learning profound life lessons from their elders at wonderful Catholic health care facilities like CHRISTUS St. Joseph Villa. In the charisms of the elderly, we see, "faith in God, friendship, disinterest in power, prudence, patience, wisdom, and a deep inner conviction of the need to respect the creation and foster peace. Older people understand the superiority of being over having."

Northway is director of religious education for the Diocese of Salt Lake City