The work of a weaver

I’m a little worried about my deal with God. He doesn’t seem to be keeping his end of the bargain.

When I first started this column, I asked him to reveal himself to and through the people of the diocese so I could write about those experiences.

To God’s credit, I have seen a tremendous amount of faith in action during the past month. Last week was no exception: on Saturday I attended Bishop Wester’s Retreat for the Elect of the diocese, and also the Scout Religious Emblem Ceremony at the Cathedral of the Madeleine. I spoke with four of the elect, three catechists and one sponsor, and saw three girls from the same family all receive a Scouting award. I would have liked to have learned more about each of their stories, but I didn’t have time.

So, yes, I have seen many faithful Catholics at work in Utah. My problem is that I can’t say where God is.

My confusion isn’t lessened by knowing that the Catholic Church teaches God is present in all things.

For example: Thursday I got a traffic ticket, but instead of slamming me for accelerating to make it through a yellow light at a school crossing, the cop only wrote me up for going five miles over the limit.

For which I did thank God. I just don’t know for what, exactly, I was grateful. Did he direct the cop to be lenient, or did he make sure I was stopped by a nice cop, or was it because I learned many years ago that it never pays to be anything but agreeable with anyone wearing a badge and a gun?

For that matter, was God even there? My first ticket in 25 years seems a picayune event for him to notice in a world brimming with war, famine and pestilence.

Because I attended Friday’s Evening Prayer and the Stations of the Cross at Saint Catherine of Siena/Newman Center – two other stories worth telling –, I posed my question to the pastor, Dominican Father Carl Schlichte.

He assured me that God was present at the traffic stop.

How exactly he was involved isn’t the point, Fr. Carl said, adding that maybe God was trying to get my attention. (Yeah, OK. I’ve been more and more impatient behind the wheel. In my defense, though, Utah drivers are enough to test the patience of a saint. But in case God really was waving a yellow flag, I’ve been scrupulously obeying traffic laws ever since.)

Getting back to my question, Fr. Carl related an example from one of his teachers: A tapestry has two sides. The front is the beautiful scene the weaver creates. The back shows the work, where the threads start, end, cross over and under each other, skip from one place to another.

Most people, most of the time, see only the back of God’s tapestry and exclaim, "What a mess!"

On the rare occasion we catch a glimpse of the front, however, we are awed by its beauty.

I can see the truth of that analogy in the traffic stop: I should be grateful about receiving the lesser fine and not worry about which thread led to it.

As for this column – I’m OK with working on the jumble in the back, but only if at some point I can view the front. I accept that God’s ways are unfathomable to my puny human mind, but blind faith makes an elusive guide. I’d rather be able to see where I’m going.