Weekend teaches couples to strengthen marriage

Photo courtesy of Jim Nielsen

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Jim and Cathy Nielsen will lead a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend Feb. 19-21 in North Salt Lake.

NORTH SALT LAKE - Seven years into their marriage, Cathy and Jim Nielsen realized they had hit a plateau.

"We did not have a bad marriage, but we thought we could do a little better," said Jim.

"Our marriage was a little stale," Cathy agreed, adding that they were involved with their children, work, school and everything else at the expense of their marriage.

To help re-connect with each other, the Nielsens attended a Worldwide Marriage Encounter (WWME) Weekend. Sixteen years later, they attended a second weekend and now, after having been involved with WWME over the past eight years are hosting their first WWME in Utah with two other couples and a priest on Feb. 19-21 in North Salt Lake. They have hosted other WWME weekends with Barb and Kevin Acker in Idaho. The Ackers brought WWME to Utah several years ago.

"We got so much out of these weekends that we decided to get involved as leaders," said Jim.

The Nielsens suggest couples attending a WWME Weekend be married at least three years; however, they have had couples married from one to 50 years.

The WWME weekend involves a series of presentations given by three different couples and by a priest. The presentations focus on the relationship at different times in the marriage and the dissolutions couples face. They explore personality styles, which enable couples to understand each other and allow them to communicate according to personality behaviors.

"When you understand your spouse's personality style and behaviors, then you can communicate with each other better and are not problem solving, you are just getting more in touch with the other's feelings," said Cathy. "The weekends are not for problem solving, they are designed so couples can build their relationship. A priest is there to offer his support and to help the couples understand that marriage is a sacrament. He also shares his role as a priest, and the dissolutions he also faces."

At the close of the weekend, the priest will celebrate Mass and the couples will renew their vows, she added.

"We did not expect that during our first weekend, and we found that to be really special," she said.

As a result of the WWME Weekends, the Nielsens communicate with and understand each other better, Jim said. "One of the things we do when we have a disagreement is we get back together faster. We return to love and make up much faster."

"Love is a choice, and that is one thing we really promote in Marriage Encounter," said Cathy. "You can choose to love your spouse much sooner or you can choose not to."

"We also set aside some time each day for each other to talk for about 20 to 30 minutes," said Jim. "We don't have any thing else going on; it's our time."

Dialogue is one of the Marriage Encounter tools taught during the weekend, Cathy said. "Jim and I dialogue about any given topic for about 15 or 20 minutes, and then we have time afterward just to talk. The kids know that is our time and they are not to interrupt us. This has been really good for our kids as well, because they see us being more loving to one another. It has also made us more loving to our children and as a family as a whole." "

"Life seems to get in the way and couples focus less on each other," said Jim. "So we give them the tools and the opportunity to have an uninterrupted weekend to focus on each other, to make their relationships better."

With 24 couples registered for the Feb. 19-21 weekend, there is currently a waiting list. There will be another WWME Weekend held Nov. 5-7. For more information, call 801-479-3197.