From grief into joy, 'God was with me,' confirmandi says

Courtesy photo/Marcy Thaeler

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Brian Hood stands in the Cathedral of the Madeleine with Deacon John Thaeler and Marcy Thaeler after he received the Sacrament of Confirmation on May 26.

OGDEN — Brian Hood has walked a lonely path since his parents died five years ago, but he now has entered a stretch of hope. Hood, 35, received the Sacrament of Confirmation at the vigil Mass of Pentecost in the Cathedral of the Madeleine. His journey from an emotionless existence to a forward-looking life perfectly illustrates the themes of the homily by the Most Rev. John C. Wester, Bishop of Salt Lake City.

"The coming of the Holy Spirit is part of the Easter mystery," Bishop Wester told the adult confirmandi at the Mass.

That Spirit moved Hood last August, although he didn’t realize then what was drawing him out of his self-imposed isolation.

"After my dad died, there was no family," said Hood, who lost his sister to bone cancer when he was 10. A few years later, his brother was killed in a car accident. Then, in 2006, his parents died within months of each other: his mother from kidney failure and his father from a brain tumor.

"I kind of shut down socially; complete shutdown, actually," said Hood, who at the time was working in a casino in Las Vegas and had no intention of moving. "I spent five years like that. I literally would go weeks without saying a word. I’d go to work [but] not talk to anybody. I had the attitude ‘if I don’t love somebody, then I’ll never be hurt again.’"

He no longer shuts himself off that way. "A really weird set of circumstances" led him to become a member of Holy Family Parish in Ogden, attend Weber State University and volunteer at Saint Ann’s Center homeless shelter.

Bishop Wester described the impetus behind such a change differently: "The Spirit dwelling within you will enlighten you; you will be illuminated."

One ordinary day last summer, Hood felt the need for something different, although he didn’t know exactly what, he said. "I went into work that night and I couldn’t get it off my mind, and right when I was ready to leave work, I just said, ‘You know what? I’m not going to come back.’ I just typed up my letter of resignation, I walked out the door and never returned. At that time I had no idea what I was doing or what I was thinking.... I was single and free to go wherever I wanted."

He decided to enroll in a university, but learned that, because the start of the school year was so near, none of the schools on his list were accepting applications. Then the name Weber State University "just popped into my head," he said. "I didn’t know it existed."

An Internet search gave him the necessary information about the university. Learning that he could begin classes in Ogden, he called Goodwill to take the contents of his apartment, packed up his car, left Las Vegas and headed to Utah.

"I only kept the things that would fit in my car – a few clothes, some personal items, sentimental stuff from my family," he said.

At Weber State, his general education coursework included a math class taught by John Thaeler, who also is a permanent deacon for the Diocese of Salt Lake City.

"I was in his office getting some math advice and we ended up talking," Hood said. He told Deacon Thaeler his life story. "It’s very strange for me to tell somebody. I never really told anybody anything about it."

Hood mentioned that he had been baptized Catholic but his family stopped attending church after his sister died. When Deacon Thaeler invited him to attend Mass, Hood accepted, but in the pew on Sunday, "I really felt uncomfortable and out of place," he said.

The following Wednesday he left town for Christmas vacation. "When I went on my little road trip for three weeks, I thought about that hour that I spent in Mass almost the whole time," he said. "It was just something that stuck in my head. That was my indication that I did the right thing, and I should follow up on it and not just make it a one-time thing."

Upon his return, he confessed to Deacon Thaeler that he had been very nervous at Mass, but wanted to learn more about the Catholic faith.

Deacon Thaeler recommended that at Mass Hood sit with his wife, Marcy Thaeler, a certified lay ecclesial minister. The Thaelers also invited Hood to their home to watch a video that explained the parts of the Mass, and suggested that he join the RCIA class at Holy Family Parish.

"We are called by the Sacrament of Confirmation to reach out to one another and to deepen the bonds that unite us, and to be one body of Christ, one Church," Bishop Wester said during the Adult Confirmation Mass.

Hood and the Thaelers have become very close. "I call John and Marcy ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad,’" he said. "Without them, who knows where I would be right now?"

Likewise, the Thaelers consider Hood an adopted son, said Deacon Thaeler. He distinctly remembers his first meeting with the younger man. Although it’s not out of the ordinary for a student to talk with him about matters other than mathematics, "what was unusual was to hear Brian’s story," he said. "I went home and told Marcy, and we basically said, ‘Nobody should be without a family.’"

Watching Hood’s spiritual growth has been exciting, Deacon Thaeler said. "The first time I ate a meal with him, he said, ‘I haven’t eaten a meal with anybody in five years.’ And then I had a ride in his car, and he said, ‘I’ve never had anybody ride with me since I’ve owned the car.’ It’s been a real adventure for all of us. I can only describe it as a blessing and God’s will."

Hood also sees God at work in his life. Last August, "my life was all questions and no answers," he said. "It was a puzzle, and none of the pieces were fitting. Going to church allowed me to realize that even though I ... didn’t think I had God in my life, I did. If you put God into the equation of it all, all those pieces of the puzzle fit. It was God talking to me that night at work that I quit, it was God that gave me the idea to come to Weber State, it was God that allowed me to register for John’s class, that allowed me to meet him, and then meet Marcy and get back into the Church. When I put God into the equation, everything fits perfectly."

After confirmation, "the Holy Spirit will be moving in you to transform you from selfishness to generosity, from looking at yourself to reaching out to others," Bishop Wester told the confirmandi.

Hood already sees this in himself. He had noticed how happy the Thaelers are while dedicating themselves to the service of others, and at their suggestion, he began to volunteer once a week at Saint Ann’s Center.

"I’m getting the urge to not just think about Brian anymore," he said. "John and Marcy are the perfect model for the kind of person I want to be. I was sent right to them. God was with me through the tragedy of my family, through all the pain and emotional suffering I went through for so many years. He was still there. He was just waiting for the time and this was the time. And here I am."