Marriage Enrichment retreat attracts many couples

Friday, Feb. 19, 2016

SALT LAKE CITY  — The  annual diocesan Marriage Enrichment took place Feb. 13 at Saint Vincent de Paul Parish’s Benvegnu Center.

Dozens of couples gathered to listen to Steve and Kathy Beirne, who with the theme “Fulfilling God’s Dreams for Us,” made the half-day retreat a workshop, too.

Steve and Kathy Beirne are nationally known speakers; they edit and publish  Foundations Newsletter, a premarital resource, and are authors of Catholic and Newly Married, an award-winning book. They live in Portland, Maine, and are the parents of seven children.

Asking the participants to identify first the qualities they saw in their significant other that made them think that that person was “the one,” the Beirnes broke the ice with the participants.

With answers such as “caring,” “sharing religious attendance,” “selflessness,” “easy to talk to,” and “common goals,” among many others, the couples attending the retreat started getting closer to each other as they also broke the ice with their significant other.

“When you have a common goal, sometimes you can negotiate things in your marriage and adjust things,” said Steve Beirne.

That first attraction “was the beginning of the journey that led you to your marriage, but sometimes it’s not the ‘happily-ever-after’ story that [people tell you.] ... Things happen; big things and little things,” added Kathy Beirne, proceeding to share a personal experience about a situation the couple had that in the end turn into a lesson.

One morning before Steve Beirne left, the couple  had a disagreement, Kathy Beirne said. At that time, they got their news from the newspaper, and that morning she was looking forward to reading about the winners of the Academy Awards, which had been presented the night before. 

However,  “when I got the paper, the whole front section was missing. … In my heart that disturbed me, and I thought he took the section with him,” said Kathy Beirne.

When Steve got back, the first thing she said was, “Did you take the front section?” to which he responded, ”No, I would never do that.”

“The next day we found out that there was an issue at the printer and the section never made it to the paper,” said Kathy Beirne. “I had jumped to a conclusion that was wrong. That taught me something. … It was not him; it was my mind that thought that about him.  … Life is full of bumps,” she added.  

“People don’t have to be perfect to be worthwhile. Even relationships with lumps and bumps in them can be worth having,” said Steve Beirne.

The Beirnes presented the attendees with five challenges that couples face: learning to speak the same language, getting along with in-laws, developing intimacy in a consumer culture, dealing with religious differences and not ignoring financial situations.

“But that leads you to some opportunities, too: to improve your communication skills, to see your in-laws as resources, to discover the spirituality of intimacy, sharing a spiritual life with your spouse and to live a life of fruitfulness and generosity,” said Steve Beirne.

The retreat continued with other workshops while the participants were reminded ‘“to have the courage to be happy,” said the Beirnes.